I agree with everything you have said here, Anna Louise. In regards to your comments about advocacy, I will add that if we look at the history of social movements, subgroups who sought inclusion within a larger group — in this case, the inclusion of trans women and trans feminine people within “women” as a broad group — were often seen as “bullying,” “policing,” or “silencing.” Examples include when trans and gender non-conforming people sought inclusion within the Gay Rights Movement, or lesbians within second wave feminism. Julia Serano has discussed the latter example in her work.

This strategy essentially functions to deflect from an honest acknowledgement on the part of the dominant group of the privilege they hold by labeling the group who is pointing out a problem (in this case, cisgender privilege and the invalidation of trans womanhood) as the problem themselves.

As you suggest, activists are working to transform the way we understand gender, and there are times when we cannot create meaningful and long-lasting change by being “nice.” Social justice as a concept, a vision, and a worldview does not simply create itself; rather, justice is created through our pressure, our demands, our action, and our participation.